Another “no” to add to my endless job search. This time it’s from a writing business called Shortform. I’m still waiting to hear back from a job I applied for with the city of Chicago. Fingers and toes crossed as I try to stay as optimistic as only a person can. Faith, you have to have faith, Morgan. And I do, it’s just difficult sometimes to keep that glimmer of hope alive when every opportunity I seek is met with a no response or a general message of why this company has decided not to hire you for one reason or another.
But I keep going despite the odds stacked against me. I keep going because there’s some part of me that still holds out hope that one day I’ll receive a yes, and it will be the yes of a lifetime. The one I’ve dreamed of. Lately, I’ve been going with the flow. I used to have an end goal in sight, but not anymore. I’ve lost it somewhere in the constant pile of nos. Life is like that sometimes, and it isn’t about the constant rejection. Rather it’s how I respond to it. Okay, I’m lying. It is about rejection. All the “Thank you but…” or “We appreciate your interest…” has got me feeling did I do or say something wrong?
Every so often it hits me, and I get into my feelings. And if you haven’t figured out already, this is one of those times. Writing has always been my passion and always will. However, I’ve contemplated starting over several times in a different career, but I’m not sure where to begin. There’s also an expiration date when it comes to careers and the field one chooses. And I feel as though I’ve reached mine with writing. I just don’t know anymore. Life is short, and so I often think about what my life will be like once my support system is gone home to be with Christ.
I want to be able to successfully provide for myself without question. I don’t want to be mediocre/average. Do I continue receiving nos as long as I can say I tried? I have a makeshift vision board in my room to remind me of the goals I have set for myself. Instead of using pictures, I chose words. How fitting? It’s dated for 2018 until, and I have yet to see any progress made. Maybe there’s progress happening behind the scenes. Some of what I wrote didn’t happen, but I’m okay with that because it’s life, and God has the final say. After all, we are all His children.
I can’t say fully why this company or that organization didn’t accept me. What I can do is continue to push forward even if I have no idea where I am headed. God has ordained my steps and I must trust and have faith in that. So, did I do or say something wrong? Yes, because they didn’t hire me, but their loss is my gain and I will continue to apply myself until my last breath.