Ungrateful

Misery loves company, and maybe you love watching all the unfortunate breaks happen to us because you’re not where you’d like to be

And maybe I’m stuck in my own self-pity

And you are too, but you’re also ungrateful

Unwilling to acknowledge all the things that are being done for you

Have been done for you

Fed up would be an understatement to how I feel at this point

I don’t doubt you love us, but I do know that you will take care of yourself first when it comes down to it

What we are dealing with is significantly small compared to the bigger and saddening catastrophes of the world

But yet, I still feel the weight

The sadness of my mother’s eyes

The hunger and dedication of wanting to better our situation and somehow I still come up short

My faith used to be enormous

It’s slowly dwindling down to nothing now

Circumstances can do that to a person

So I write to release

Getting out the feelings I can’t speak

I write

Hoping and praying that our situation will improve

It’s evident you’re not changing, but hopefully, I can better my circumstances

Because although I may be in misery right now, one thing is crystal clear…

I DO NOT WANT the company

 

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Wild Heart

Barefoot in the sand with images of you running through my mind

I move closer towards the water

So peaceful, so blue, crystal clear

I smile at the thought of what used to be

No longer in each other’s lives

I appreciate the memories though

The sand crumbles between my toes as I watch the sunset

We used to do this together

But here I stand alone left with the memory of me and you

Your hand touches my face as I feel the wind breeze through my hair

I can get lost in this moment forever

Say you’ll never leave

Please don’t go

But as the waves wash against the shore I am reminded that you’re leaving

Sand between my toes as I look out into a sea of beauty

The night sky is fast approaching and while I would love to stay and reminisce I must be going

There are new memories to be made

New beaches for me to explore

New opportunities for me to run barefoot

Freely taking in everything around me

Wild heart

 

Lost

Somehow I found myself standing at the edge of no return

Feeling as if I am all alone in this

A fight with no clear winner

A beginning with no end

Constantly running, reaching for something but it’s unclear as to what you’re reaching for

A smile plastered on a face that hides a deep sadness, a yearning for things to be different

Lost

Unsure where to go and how you’re going to get there

Lost

Unable to find your way amongst the sea of people who try and help you

Lost

As you stand at the edge of that cliff

Should you jump and take a chance or back away for fear of what might await you?

Smiling Through the Tears

Some days it’s hard to smile through the constant tears that invade my life, but I try.

A painted on grin from ear to ear masks a past filled with pain and uncertainty, which has grown as time has continued on.

Life. This interesting thing we are discovering filled with ups, downs, twists, turns, love, and heartache.

Learning to smile through the tears takes skill not many can master.

Not many will be faced with depression, sadness, anger, confusion, and so much more because of it.

I choose to smile, but there’s this lingering thought in my head questioning why?

You’re comfortable in the darkness, in the shadows, below those that shine brightly while you claw your way trying to get to where they are because you don’t recognize your full potential.

You’re not beneath anyone. In fact, you’re above.

Creating your own lane, creating a path all your own.

But sometimes you feel unworthy as if you don’t belong.

An outcry for help goes unheard because no one truly sees you for who you are and what you can become.

Greatness.

You Need to Have a “Come to Jesus” Moment With Yourself.

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Have you ever had a “come to Jesus” moment? With yourself? For someone else? I’ve had several, and each time I’ve learned the truth about myself whether I wanted to hear it or not. There are two things I need to acknowledge, however, before moving forward:

  1. What’s a “come to Jesus” moment?
  2. And what qualifies as a “come to Jesus” moment, who needs it, and when should it take place?

Now I know that question two was a bit loaded. But let’s address my reasoning behind this post first before answering the questions. There’s been a lot of back and forth in my life recently. Dealing with family, career, and everything in between. The only thing keeping me sane at this point is prayer and my faith. I’ve been exploring several options career-wise, going on interviews, getting rejected, and nothing seems to pan out.

And you could say well, join the club. There’s a lot of people experiencing rejection whether it’s with family, career, what have you. And you’re right, but maybe by me addressing this topic, I could help someone else out who might not know how to sort through everything. My reason for this post is because I am having a “come to Jesus” moment with myself right now.

I am acknowledging that I am not satisfied with how things are happening in my life, so this brings me to my first question: What’s considered a “come to Jesus” moment? Everyone has their own opinion, but I feel that having this sort of moment means that you’re acknowledging what is happening within your life or someone else’s life that you may care about, and you would like to see a positive change happen.

What qualifies as a “come to Jesus” moment, who needs it, and when should it take place? Acknowledging that you have certain situations happening in your life that you might not agree with, and willing to discuss it is what I feel qualifies as that moment. Anyone can have it, and it can take place anywhere. Over the phone, in person, even via email. 

Life is full of ups and downs, but taking those lessons in both the good and bad is honestly what I feel life is about. It’s about the journey. How you’ve managed to improve your life and make it better than say last year.

download (1)Improvement. Acknowledgment. Discussion. These are just three areas that I’ve been a part of in order to work through my own “come to Jesus” moment. I’ve acknowledged that there was an issue within my life, I’ve discussed that specific issue with who I needed to whether in prayer or talking with someone, and I’ve worked towards improving as best I can so that the issue/situation doesn’t linger if it doesn’t need to.

This saying “come to Jesus” moment is actually a saying that most are familiar with, but have maybe used a different saying or tactic behind getting to the resolution. Everyone’s different. This is my way of putting it out in the universe as a reminder to again, acknowledge my problems and try my best to rectify them as best I can.

Blessings,

M

The Wait: Its Relevancy or Lack Thereof

Hello Everyone,

I know it’s been a while since I have posted, but I’m back, and this time I came to share my thoughts on The WaitDPVo7n-U8AAtiJf

Yep, that book right there. The book was published over a year ago, and if you’re thinking “why waste your time giving feedback on a book that’s been out over a year?” My answer is simple: I’ve had it since last year, life situations took precedence over having time to read, and I finally got a chance to read it this year, and I JUST finished it. (Literally).

I was excited to read this book when it came out last year. I even posted on my social media accounts about it. I’ve always had a respect and love for Meagn Good’s work, and was introduced to Devon Franklin and his part in this book through knowing about Meagan. But that’s usually how it works, right? You may find out about another person you knew nothing about at first all because you know of the person they are connected too.

And that doesn’t just apply in what I like to refer to as “Hollyweird,” but it applies to life in general. But I digress. Back to this book. So, as I was saying. I was excited about this book. The title was appealing, the cover was nice, and as I stated, I’m a fan of Meagan so I thought why not give it a read. The title of The Wait. You’re being sold on this notion of ways you can find your true self in every aspect of your life, but most importantly, your love life.

And let’s face it, most people bought and read the book under that pretense. I’ll admit it, I did, and while they definitely provide that information inside (I won’t give too much away for those of you who haven’t read it but would like to), they fall a bit short because a lot of what I read are things I’ve heard before.

There are definitely some insightful tips, but there was nothing new that caught my attention or made me say wow! Now they do mention that this book might not be for everyone, and maybe I am one of those individuals, but what I found through reading all nine chapters of this book are these three things:

  • You must have a solid foundation with God and Jesus. If by chance you don’t, work on developing that relationship because it is more about your relationship with them than it is about anything else.
  • Love yourself. Figure out who you are, and continue on your journey of self-discovery in who you are and what you want.
  • Patience is a virtue. Being patient in any aspect of your life is important. Things do not happen when we may want them to. It’s all about trusting the foundation that has been built, yourself, but most importantly in knowing that Jesus Christ will deliver what he deems fit.

Yes, this book has moments sprinkled throughout of how Meagan and Devon met and made it work, and in today’s society we always want to know what’s happening in a celebrity’s life, so when they provide that insight into their world we jump at the chance, which is why I can see and understand how this book became a part of The New Times BestSeller’s List.

And yes, this book discusses sex and everything in between regarding that, but I think the best lesson learned throughout the entire book is you have to do what’s best for you, and if you believe in Jesus Christ then you know that your relationship is more important. Hebrews 11:6

Blessings,

M

Indifference

I love you, but our circumstances aren’t so great

I wish you would change but only you can want that for yourself

Only you can see that there is something wrong with this dynamic

I don’t want to say you’re toxic because I love and care for you too much, but my heart aches each and every time you walk through the door

My heart aches each and every time you walk out the door

Back and forth. It’s like a tug-of-war with no winner

Just aches and pains as I watch sacrifices being made even if it means jeopardizing the peace that is here when you’re gone

But these are just my thoughts

The good should out way the bad

I love you, but I can’t sacrifice my peace for  your enjoyment

Three Tips for Overcoming Your Fear in the Workforce

Happy September 2, 2017, everyone! I hope all of you are doing well. It has been an interesting year thus far for me. Applying for jobs, going on interviews, getting rejected, writing a second book (insert nervous emoji), blogging for different sites, reading, and continuously trying to figure out my purpose here on earth.

I noticed that the blog sphere is continuing to change, which is a good thing, but that also means I need to step up my game. I think about the very first article I published or some of the people I’ve followed over the years, and I have to say that this blog has come a long way, and I am proud of that! It has been a lot of trial and error, and I feel will continue to be. But that’s the beauty of writing, of figuring things out.

Recently, I had the opportunity to write for AbilityLinks once again. This article focuses on overcoming your fear specifically within the workforce. The purpose of this post is to provide three tips that can be useful when entering the workforce whether this is your first time or you’re re-entering into the workforce for whatever reason.

Feel free to take a look, leave a comment, or share this article. Trying to either gain entry into the workforce or maintain your position can be difficult, so hopefully, these three tips can serve as a friendly reminder as you’re on your journey.

 

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Click the image to be taken to the site

 

 

 

Blessings,

M

 

Comfortable in my own skin + disability

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be nerve-wracking. Should I open up? Should I not open up? What will people say? I can’t speak for everyone, but there’s this freeing feeling of being able to let go and just be yourself. I struggled with whether I would write about how I truly feel about having a disability and whether I would share it with one of the most well-renounced sites for people with disabilities, The Mighty.

I decided to move forward with having my article published on The Mighty site with the hope that someone, somewhere could relate. So, I am posting on here with the same intention. Maybe someone somewhere can relate to my story, and I welcome those of you to read, share, like, or comment!

https://themighty.com/2017/07/developing-comfort-in-your-own-skin-with-a-disability/

“Embrace Your Creativity” – Jireh Martin

Jireh Martin is a freelance videographer and photographer who wants you to “embrace your creativity.” He’s going to school for Mass Communications and he shared with me why he chose this career field and ultimately what he plans to do once he graduates.

Take a look at what he had to say:

 

Blessings,

M